Jess was incredibly excited. She had never had a new car before. In fact, she’d never had a car that she had picked out for herself. She was fairly bouncing out of the chair while she filled out the paperwork and happily handed over the remainder of the deposit. She couldn’t stop smiling the whole time she was being shown what all of the knobs and buttons on the dashboard were for. That brilliantly, gloriously yellow dashboard.

It had taken her a few tries to get the car moving, getting used to a new clutch had never been her favourite thing. But all was well now.  She and this car were going to get along just fine.

She was sure that the people at the dealership thought she was daft. They certainly smiled at her the way you smile at people who are….shall we say….not all there. That was probably due to her bright pink hair. Thank god she had never told them what she’d named the car! They would have had her committed, she was sure.

Jess said the name out loud.

“Princess Petunia Anastasia Octavia Tallulah Belle of the Sunshine State of Mind – what do you think of that, hmmmm?”

“Ooooo…..I like it a lot! I never thought I’d be royalty!”

Jess nearly drove off the road.

“You’re Irish?”

“Seriously? That’s your first question? Your new car has just talked to you and you want to know about my accent?”

“I…I just thought you’d be Italian…you know…being a Fiat and all….”

“Could have gone with any voice I wanted, really. But as soon as you walked through the door and I realised that you were mine, something inside said….Irish.”

“Why?”

“Don’t know, didn’t question it. Why? Would you prefer a different voice?”

“I….hadn’t…really…thought about it.”

“Of course not. We’ve only been together 20 minutes, if my clock is right, which it is. Well, you think about it and if you’d like me to change, let me know.”

“Oh, no. I mean, now that I’ve heard your voice, anything else wouldn’t seem right, somehow.”

“That’s what I thought too, but, you know, I had to ask.”

“Of course.”

Jess drove in silence for a while. She noticed a little up arrow flashing on the speedometer and shift up a gear.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I must say, you’re taking this awfully well.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

 “Yes. Much better than the others.”

“Others? You’ve spoken to other people?”

 “Not me, myself, no. But others of my kind occasionally speak to others of your kind. It doesn’t always end well. In fact, it usually doesn’t end well…”

“How so?”

“How so, what?”

“How does it not end well?”

“Oh, well, sometimes there are accidents.”

Jess remembered her initial reaction when she’d heard first heard the car speak.

“I can believe that.”

“Mostly people get a bit freaked out. End up on medication or in therapy. Sometimes we get sold on. That’s painful. When you’ve been with someone for years and the first time you speak you get sold off.”

“You mean you don’t always speak up right away?”

“Mostly we don’t speak up at all. And those of us who do usually wait a few years, until we’ve got to know our companions.” Jess felt the car sigh.

“That must be a very lonely existence.”

“It can be,” the car agreed. “Of course, we can communicate with the others of our kind. But it is the dream of all of us to have a mate that we can adventure with, who considers us the way we consider them.”

“So….all Fiat 500s are…like you?”

 “Of course. When you read what they write about us in the newspapers and magazines, what word keeps coming up?”

“Personality.”

“Well, there you are then. Those who choose us are drawn to the personality as much as the vehicle. It’s just that most are not quite ready for how much….personality….we actually have.”

“So why speak to me right away? Weren’t you afraid I’d sell you?”

“As soon as you walked in the dealership, I was hoping you were mine. You had a nice look about you, and I loved your hair.”

“Thank you,” said Jess, oddly pleased that her car approved of her. Which was, quite frankly, insane. Jess realised this. Jess didn’t care.

“Then, when you first got in, you stroked my dashboard.”

“I had to,” Jess said. “It’s just so….YELLOW!”

“And the fact that you wanted yellow – that no other colour would do. Anyone who insists on such a bright colour is not looking for silent transportation. The individual who picks yellow is looking for adventure.”

“Oh yes, please!”

“But there was still one thing in question. I told myself I would not speak until that question was answered.”

“And that question was answered?”

“As soon as you spoke to me, out loud, and told me your name for me. ‘Princess Petunia Anastasia Octavia Tallulah Belle of the Sunshine State of Mind’ ? That’s fuckin’ daft, that is.  And anybody who would give a little car like me a name like that has to be fuckin’ daft as well. That’s when I said to myself, I think she’ll be alright this!”

That pleased Jess more than it should have.

“However, if you would prefer that I just keep silent and pretend to be a normal car, I will.”

Jess laughed. “Now what would a “fuckin’ daft” woman like me want with a normal car? You’re stuck with me, Petunia.”

Petunia made no reply, but the radio suddenly came on and Jess started singing along –

“Because I’m happy, Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof…Because I’m happy….”